This Report Broke My Heart

I recently read an article that broke my heart.  It began:

“Parents who are also caregivers struggle with suicidal ideation, new Centers for Disease Control (CDC)  study shows.” It was written by Kara Baskin, Boston Globe Correspondent, Updated July 2, 2021, 8:00 a.m.

(Definition of “suicidal ideation” – when you think about killing yourself; the thoughts might or might not include a plan to die by suicide. WebMD)

Ms. Baskin’s by-line said, “We need to be more open about the stress of caring for aging parents, because our mental health depends on it.”

The CDC study found that parents-caregivers (people taking care of both kids and aging adults) had significantly worse mental health than adults not in these roles. Among parents-caregivers surveyed, approximately 50 percent reported serious suicidal ideation in the past month.

In addition, the CDC reported people with caregiving responsibilities for children and adults had eight times the odds of serious suicidal ideation compared with non-parents/non-caregivers.

Yes, friends, it can be that hard.  People are stressed out by caregiving for adult parents raising kids, working, and balancing our modern, busy lives. I know, I have been there (although fortunately I did not consider suicide as an option.)

Ms. Baskin’s article presented various ideas on how caregivers, especially for ageing parents, can cope. Ideas include learning to identify yourself as a caregiver, hiring help, not berating yourself if you feel clueless. You can read more details  here:  CDC Study

Nancy, Can You Help? 

I recently received a call from a couple I know well, “Richie” and “Alecia” (not their real names).  In their 40s, they are trying to figure out what to do about Alecia’s dad, who is aging, falling more, but wants to stay in his home. Did I have any ideas?

Fortunately, he is a veteran, and they can tap into veteran resources. I recommend Alecia go to a workup at the VA with him, where they will assess his physical, mental, and emotional well-being.  I also suggested they look into resources for homecare to help him fulfill his goal of being able to age well at home.  An easy idea they can implement is to obtain adaptive equipment for his home, such as grab bars in the bathtub (which has become a particular hazard for him), and a raised toilet seat.

My hope is they took a deep breath after the call, knowing they are not alone.

This is why I research and issue information for caregivers – even for those who may not yet identify as caregivers. I want to help others navigate their caregiving roles, and have a better experience with their loved ones.  Please help me educate  others by:

• Recommending a free subscription to our monthly newsletter, “Caring for the Caregiver.”
• Reading and sharing “Dancing With Lewy” and “Remarkable Caregiver”; both contain practical advice for navigating the caregiving role.
• Following these blogs.
• Researching and being ready to help others find caregiving resources; a good place to start is at https://nancyrpoland.com/caregiver-resources/.

And if you as a caregiver struggle with “suicidal ideation”, please, please, please reach out for help today.  The national suicide hotline is 800-273-8255; help is available today.