We have been Reminded of Sad Life Lessons During the Pandemic
- Life can change in a single day.
- Sickness does not just happen to the elderly.
- A person can be hospitalized suddenly and unexpectedly.
I have further been reminded of the fragility of life in the last couple of months.
- I have had one family member in his forties who has been in the hospital for an extended time.
- Another family member in his forties tragically died unexpectedly from a suspected heart attack.
- I have watched part of the trial of Derek Chauvin who killed George Floyd, a man in his forties who woke up in the morning and had no idea he would leave this life that day last May.
Life is precious, and we need to cherish each day with our loved ones.
This is not specifically about men in their forties, but it is a life lesson about expecting the best and preparing for the worst. This is about completing advanced care directives telling our loved ones what to do should we become ill or incapacitated. And yes, it can happen to any of us.
The Centers for Disease Control (“CDC”) reported only 7 percent of older adults polled said the COVID-19 virus spurred them to have conversations with their loved ones about their preferences should they become ill or incapacitated. Only 1 percent of those surveyed said concerns over COVID-19 had motivated them to take action and complete or update advance care planning documents. AARP and the CDC were surprised at these poll results.*
Yes, these documents need to be in place for your elderly family members. But they should also be in place for you. It seems that most people don’t give this a thought.
What are the key healthcare documents everyone over 18 can – and should – complete?
Living Will or Advanced Directive – a legally binding document that informs your doctors about your preferences for medical care at the end of life. When do you want medical measures to be taken to extend your life? To what extreme should the medical community treat you?
Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare – This could be part of the Living Will/Advance Directive; it lets you appoint someone (plus a backup) to make medical choices on your behalf when you are unable to do so. Who do you want to decide for you at those critical points in time? Without this directive, the medical team is left without a decision maker, and the results could be disastrous for you and your family. Disasters such as:
- Family disagreements over your future quality of life
- Ambiguity about your personal wishes and beliefs about life and death
- Prolonged or artificial life when that would not be your desire
You can consult an attorney for more information, but you can also find these documents online. They need to be notarized, or depending on your state requirements, may be witnessed by two individuals.
In my upcoming book, “Remarkable Caregiving: The Care of Family and Friends”, the first story is about the unfortunate results of a family not having the proper legal document in place. “Remarkable Caregiving” will be available from nancyrpoland.com this summer and will be released to the public in November 2021.
Your superpower can be expressing your wishes about your life and death, even when you can’t speak. Take the steps now and complete your advanced care directive.
*Bruce Horovitz, AARP, April 6, 2021 – https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2021/poll-many-have-no-advance-directives.html